
Not long ago, we received a letter from the local den-mother scolding us for not making cub scouts a priority. If fact, we've decided to not encourage Eli to attend. For us, it was too closely linked to religion and we prefer to instruct our children based upon our own morality.
It was a lengthy letter but one sentence that stood out was "we should at least be willing to sacrifice an hour a week for our children". Implied is that since we don't participate in what is perceived as the proper and legitimate "family" activity that we must not posess "family values". While we don't attend church or send our kids to scouts it doesn't mean that we don't do anything or have no structure. We have our own set of priorities. For example, in our home, music is important. What that means is that we spend about $180 a month on lessons plus the drive time 20 miles away and waiting for the lesson. There is practice time that we're around for, plus all the group music events and more. I'm not saying that our priorities are better than church goers or sports families, everyone has their thing. But we do spend time and make sacrifices for Eli, Brynn and Ella, so when a fundamentalist of any stripe tries to claim their family values are superior to mine, it gives me pause.
Another priority is family dinner. We make it a point to sit around the dinner table each night to share a meal and tell our stories. We live on the main road through town and the church is a block away. At dinner and other times throughout the week we see church folks coming and going, alone and as a family. Far be it from me to judge their priorities, but I dare say that we spend as much time or more together as a family, around the hearth and elsewhere, than they do. It's our priority. We refuse to be too busy for dinner.
We're all in this together. An "hour"? How about sacrificing everything for our children?